Boys, Boys, Boys

After living with my husband for 10 1/2 years and having two boys of my own, I have definitely come to the conclusion that men boys are a completely different species than woman. Women use their brains to think logically and make sense...for the most part. As women, we are expected to do it all. We are Wonder W omen! We have to cook, clean, and do laundry. We have to wipe runny noses and quiet coughs...not just the dads, we have to do the kids too. As mothers, we are the finders of lost socks and rubber lizards (almost, Lizzy is still missing) and we are the healers of ouchies with just one kiss. Some of us work outside of the home and some of us inside the home. Whether we are stay-at-home moms or work-outside-of-home moms, we are expected to take care of our husbands/significant others, our children (whether two legs or four), and some how fit ourselves in there to be taken care of (which doesn't always happen).

Men Boys, what do boys do? Boys sit around watching TV, playing video games, eating, farting, and scratching all day long. They only bother to get dressed and be presentable when they are going to work or I make them; but the minute they step inside the house, off goes the clothes and all civility with them. Their obsession with Mr. Winkie and all of their bodily functions really dumbfounds me. Boys think it's funny to see who can belch/fart the loudest or longest. They think it's fun to have peeing contests to see who finishes first. And if they are really lazy, they will pee in a bottle to avoid having to get up. You can't tell me that the boys in my house are the only ones who have done this. I don't condone it and if I'm around, it doesn't happen. They get their butts swatted all the way to the bathroom.

One question I have though, why do men boys always have their hand on their crotch? I don't understand it. I've asked and I get the same answer...a shrug of the shoulder. That natural propensity has led to many questions. Thankfully, I have gone through one sons questions growing up about Mr. Winkie and was able to dodge some bullets there. I don't lie to him, but I don't exactly tell the entire truth either. He's 9, he's going to learn soon enough. I want to preserve his innocence as long as I can. Here comes son #2. He is 4. He has begun the natural progression that I'm sure is encoded in his DNA. I woke Jaiden up yesterday morning to get ready for school daycare and he came in the living room and sat on the couch with me. Since he just got up he was only wearing a t-shirt and his undies. He was sitting Indian style and I see him push Mr. Winkie, then he did it again, and again, and again. I looked at him and asked, "Jaiden, what are you doing?" His response? "It keeps going up and down, up and down, up and down." How do you look at a 4-year old who looks at you with that innocent, sweet little face, and keep from laughing? Let me tell you, it's really hard. Since I have to do everything else, I carried Jaiden back to my bedroom yelling "Eugene, time for a father-son talk!". Eugene rolled over in bed grunting and I told Jaiden to tell Daddy what's wrong. Jaiden sat beside Eugene and said "Daddy, my pee-pee is going up and down, up and down." I heard Eugene groan and tell Jaiden to come over to where he was. I walked out of the room laughing quietly with a BIG smirk on my face. Good luck with that one Dad!!!